Chapter 1

Defining Family

No one fights dirtier or more brutally than blood; only family knows its own weaknesses, the exact placement of the heart. The tragedy is that one can still live with the force of hatred, feel infuriated that once you are born to another, that kinship lasts through life and death, immutable, unchanging, no matter how great the misdeed or betrayal. Blood cannot be denied, and perhaps that's why we fight tooth and claw, because we cannot-being only human-put asunder what God has joined together.

-Whitney Otto, How to Make an American Quilt

The family is the first essential cell of human society.

-Pope John XXIII

What Is a Family?

Before one begins to explore the nature of family conflict, the question that must be answered is how one defines a family. This may sound like something we should already be familiar with and clear about. However, on closer examination we come to realize that the definition of family is as unique and diverse as each family unit and the individuals within those units.

In defining family, apart from one's own personal view of what constitutes a family, we encounter religious, social and legal definitions. Historically, in the United States, the trend has been to define a "traditional" family as a nuclear family, that is, a family made up of father, mother and children. This definition of family is no longer broad enough, especially considering the legal changes in the 21st century.

The last hundred years have seen more change in nearly all areas of life than any other preceding century. Information technology -and with it, social media-has taken the world by storm. Globalization is no longer a futuristic possibility, it's a present reality. Artificial intelligence is not only vastly utilized but is being refined as we speak. Biotechnology has rapidly developed. The definition of marriage has been legally altered. The architecture of family structures in society today is exponentially more diverse than ever before. What defines a family must therefore be examined and explored so that we are able to dialogue from a common understanding. This does not imply that we will necessarily agree with all the changes we see, but whether we agree (or even like it) or not, we are living in this new world. Social media has ensured that no one is unaware of social diversity today. As we attempt to help families maneuver through conflict, we have to acknowledge these changes and decide whether we will be an instrument of peaceful navigation in this time of rapid world change, or a contributor to further division.

Definitions of Family

The Merriam Webster dictionary offers a variety of definitions for the word family. One broad definition is a group of individuals living under one roof, usually under one head, that is, a household. Another says a group of persons under common ancestry.1 A nuclear family is considered a family group that consists only of parents and children.2 The "traditional" family is defined as "the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children."3

Defining what constitutes a family is not as straightforward as it may seem. It is also heavily influenced by the culture in which a family unit lives, and it continues to evolve over time. At the dawn of the 20th century in the United States (US), a family was typically defined as being nuclear in nature: two parents and their children.4

This traditional definition appears to be the model upon which the US Census Bureau defines family:5

• Family: a group of two people or more, related to each other by birth, marriage or adoption, residing together and considered as members of one family.
• Fam

• Ratgeber
• Sonstiges